Before a divorce there may be attitudes out of place, generally on one’s part. The one who makes the decision usually feels relief. The second wants to sink into misery and wants nothing to do with the world. Overcome a divorce, of course, is not sew and sing.
With time the suffering diminishes, that is true. Some people find it less expensive than others.
How much effort does it take to get through a divorce?
Well, the answer is relative. There are people with more capacity to assimilate a divorce, others, however, believe they will never be able to do it. The second is wrong.
You may also be interested in this article on how to make a divorce agreement.
We know very well that we have no other option than to move on and forget our partner. Getting over a divorce wasn’t in our plans a while ago, but it’s there now.
You will be scattered for a while, wanting to eat the world and at the same time wanting to want to kill it. It is a feeling that it is part of the process. If you don’t suffer after a divorce … you don’t have a heart.
Crying and letting off steam is brave
It’s good to cry, let off steam, and talk to someone you trust. If you have too many objects that can remind you of your ex, get rid of them. I’m not saying throw it away or burn it, you’re supposed to be adults. But you can put it in boxes and store them. Tomorrow you may want to donate it to someone in need, or simply return it to your ex when you are ready.
How to regain confidence in yourself
All the emotions that go through before overcoming a divorce directly affect our lives.
We must know how to set limits so that it does not go as far as we do not want. A divorce is not the end of the world or the end of your job. So keep it up or you’ll have a problem you don’t want right now. It is vital that you understand that the feelings you have now are normal.
What determines the recovery of your new life will not be the signature of any judge. That will depend on you.
Do not close doors to invitations with friends, possible leisure or business trips.
You must give yourself the opportunity to enjoy everything that may arise. In this way, overcoming a divorce is more bearable.
Think that the feelings and frustration you feel before getting over a divorce have a beginning but also an end.
How long does it take to get over a divorce?
Getting over a divorce can take anywhere from a year and a half to three years. If you follow the advice we give you, it will probably take less than you think.
You will have to make a great effort, because you want to recover your life, get rid of the past and start enjoying the future.
You must remember that the intensity of your suffering is what you allow. It is you who must control the situation.
You may feel frustrated by someone close to you who has been through the same thing, and by comparing yourself you think you will have the same or worse. Let me tell you that each person is a completely different world, different DNA and ways of seeing and doing things.
Instructions to overcome divorce
Focus on positive changes
Never compare yourself to anyone. Each person needs their time and the worst thing you can do is force the situation. Maybe tomorrow you will be much better and after two days you will regress, that is normal, so do not be afraid when that happens, understanding it will help you.
Focus on the positive changes you are experiencing and relax. Try to avoid places and people that bring back memories. If you have children, focus on them, you have lost your partner, but they have seen how their home has been broken. For them it can be much more traumatic than for you. Paying special attention to them will be one of your priorities.
Now is the time to build new moments, create new memories and experiment. Above all, do not be in a hurry to make your pain disappear; the fast track and tension do not usually lead to success. Getting over a divorce takes time. Focus on your happiness and well-being, on that of your children if that is the case, of course that too.
Don’t make drastic changes
Making drastic changes like cutting your hair, dressing in clothes that don’t go with you, painting yourself more than you should, moving house, changing jobs… It could be a serious mistake. You can make changes as your mind becomes clearer and you are clear about what you want.
You must learn to set your priorities. You can make a list of things you would like to do or have not done. Staying focused will help you get through a divorce more easily.
When you’re down, remember what you’re putting all this effort into. Some people find it very useful to write their experiences in a diary, you can try it if you think that it can help you.
Do not isolate yourself
It is normal that before getting over a divorce, you feel the need to be alone. That may be fine to a degree. Do not confuse wanting to be alone for a while with isolating yourself. The second can be very harmful and can cause depression, which would aggravate the situation.
Get over a divorce with children
Do not pretend to be brave or get heavy trying to show that you are perfectly. Park that pride, if you don’t you will be wasting all your energy on something that will not help your children.
You have nothing to prove, you just have to love your children and give them security.
If your children are older, make them understand that the divorce was necessary, since you and your partner were not happy. That it wasn’t worth always arguing and thereby losing harmony at home. Divorce doesn’t have to be bad, even if it was the worst for you. Your children need to see the positive side of the situation and so do you.
Learn to be without a partner for a while
There are people who are desperately looking for a substitute that will take away all their ills. Terrible mistake. You can have an affair when you are ready, but you must be fully recovered before entering a new serious relationship.
Of course there are exceptions, you never know in which corner the love of your life may be waiting for you.
But being realistic and generalizing, if you get into a relationship without getting over a divorce, you run the risk of scaring that new person into distrusting you. Your new partner will surely like people who are sure of themselves and without a past.
What do you need to overcome divorce?
- don’t isolate yourself
- watch over you
- be positive
Tips for overcoming divorce
It is very important not to isolate yourself that is a very typical attitude that must be avoided at all costs. Do not confuse wanting to be alone for a while with isolating yourself. Take your time, getting over a divorce is a process that can take a certain amount of time depending on each person. So don’t be in a hurry to avoid tensions and relax. Don’t stay home if your friends ask you out.